Saturday 17 May 2014

Update - Life and Motivation


General Update: 
Yo how has everyone been? !
Hey y'all it's Anita here.
No i'm not taking weird selfies. Above is a picture from practical, and if you look closely, one of my pupils (the black part of my eye) is ginormous compared the the other eye. Can you guess which eye?

Also yay congratulations to me because the oddly rectangular photos you will be exposed to in the rest of this blog is due to my new Samsung S4! :3 Finally a smartphone which can take pictures..dun...dun...DUNNN.

Anyway I thought I'd do a general update. So pretty much lately my life is uni, work, dance, and family and boyfriend, and I guess the first 3 have their perks and downs and I guess I'll be elaborating on that today.

1. So uni. 
 Pros: Learning interesting stuff
Cons: Never ending stress

The eyeball is fascinating, and I'm actually really glad I chose to do optometry over animation. I think of it now, and I think, although I would be swimming away in creativity and relaxation, I think I found my dose of arts in dance now, and optom is a lot more challenging and rewarding; especially when you discover and understand something really detailed. For example, we learned that your depth perception is because of the DIFFERENCE between your two eyes. Like I guess in simple terms, the difference between what each of your eyes sees, gives the world it's 3d effect. (try closing one of your eyes and doing simple things like pouring water). Also, it explains how your eyes see different things at the same time, and the reason why (i.e. shut one eye after the other, the image moves, and it's the difference in these images that your brain translate to depth and 3d).

Also we're doing slit lamp in practical, meaning we get to see awesome things in our eyes: 

Persistant pupillary membrane - common and benign
2. Work. 
So we got a new practice manager at work. I guess it's really unsettling sometimes because I just got comfortable and was starting to get confident, then she comes along and she wants to change everything and most of the things I was doing previously was wrong and I have to re-learn. I also get really self-conscious of how inept I think I sound when talking to customers, because in all honesty, I am born an introvert, and when I'm at work, I try to dab in pretending I am extroverted. In reality, early in the morning when I go to uni, sometimes I walk extra slow so I don't have to talk to people because it's too tiring. Talking to people, yes, I enjoy learning about their lives and stuff and talking about things in common, but sometimes I just want to relax and not have to be judged on how awkward I am when I talk, or sometimes I'm just not comfortable talking with people, so it takes extra brainpower and is really tiring to talk to people. I am an impatient speaker and I want to get to the point, which I think can make people uncomfortable. I like to debate, discuss, and I have a very tangential way of humour. I think weird things are funny, I will admit it, and I try to keep that side as normal to people as I can. My brain is just wired weird. 

3. Family
Family, I love them. I appreciate them. Lately I don't agree with a lot of things, and I lot of times I wonder if it's me who's being illogical and immature, or them who are being closed minded. I guess a dangerous aspect of my personality is that I think I'm always right, but I've been trying to work on that, as well as my apologizing and not being lazy. 

4. Dance
More often than not, I feel like I'm not good enough. 
I feel like an artist who can't draw what they want to draw. I have an image in my head, but it's not being represented to my content.
I've seen a lot of dancer's ego as well, although I'm starting to think it's more along the likes of artist's ego, rather than just dancers.
I guess I have to keep reminding myself I love to dance because it keeps me fit, and that it's fun and challenging, and its fun to express the music. Not because I want to be better than someone else, or prove my dancing worth to others. 

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Some other pictures to entertain you guys: 

Teehee. Heel buddies at a friend's recent birthday dinner. 


Thanks for reading, till next time folks.

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